As I write this, it’s 65 degrees Fahrenheit outside and bright red leaves are falling from the maple tree in my front yard.
I’m savoring this moment, this limbo between seasons because I know it won’t last forever.
I believe there are different seasons of our lives, periods when you can indulge in a new passion, spells where you can enjoy evenings with friends or family, and times when you must burn the midnight oil.
I’ve been in the last category of late, and I expect it to continue for the foreseeable future; simultaneously planning home improvement projects and a wedding while having a full-time job and trying to get enough sleep and exercise and proper nutrition is not for the faint of heart!
It’s easy for me to get overwhelmed, so this fall I’m challenging myself to slow down and look at the bigger picture.
I am by no means an expert but, in case you are experiencing a similar season of busyness, here are some things that are helping me to appreciate this particular season of life.
Tip 1: Change your vantage point
If I look out my front windows, all I see are bright green leaves on my maple tree. However, the grass is covered in red leaves. I noticed recently after returning from a walk around the block—which I find also helps me calm down—I saw a canopy chock full of fiery red.
We’re not usually granted omniscience on a given situation, so to have a better handle on it, we need to get a different perspective. This could mean physically moving, like I did on my walk. It could also mean talking to a colleague from another department or someone with a different opinion than you. You may not always be simpatico after your conversation, but you’ll at least have a better appreciation for the complexities on the issue.
Tip 2: Be realistic
We tend to overestimate what we have the time and energy for in a given day. Researchers call this the planning fallacy, because we are overly optimistic about our time management. It is a default, so in order to avoid the planning fallacy, we have to actively plan to avoid it. (The irony!)
I haven’t been sleeping well lately because I am stressed about everything on my plate and other commitments I made, back when I thought I had infinite amounts of time. Going forward, I am going to make my plan for the day, then remove one item. I’m hoping this exercise will help me set more realistic expectations.
If you feel like you’re constantly falling short of your own expectations, or see a colleague struggling, I encourage devising a plan to reduce productivity and inherent biases to set yourself, or someone else, up for future successes.
Tip 3: Avoid comparisons
This is undoubtedly my biggest struggle at present. It’s easy to focus on society’s expectations for us. It feels like we should always be pushing forward; any steps backward—or even staying still—is a failure. Social media platforms can amplify these feelings because our feeds show us others’ highlights reel.
I’ve worked to insulate myself, so I don’t feel pangs of jealousy or less than. That has meant limiting my screen time and constantly reminding myself that others’ success does not equate to my own failure. I’m also trying to part ways with the yardstick that I use to measure myself against others.
For you, maybe that means celebrating accomplishments without any conditional statements or not comparing your journey to someone else’s.
Tip 4: Adopt a new mindset
While I lie awake at 3 a.m., it’s difficult to think that I will one day miss these days. But I will. Maybe not two years from now but maybe 42 years from now when I’m in a nursing home and have mobility issues. I’ll say to myself, "What a fool I was to worry when I should’ve been enjoying every opportunity to go new places, try new things and meet new people."
So, while I’m in the thick of it, I’m challenging myself to find something to appreciate about this season of my life. I may not like everything about it, but there are plenty of things to be grateful for and appreciate in the moment.
For you, that might mean remembering that you’ve excelled in previous challenging times, so what you’re experiencing today is a walk in the park. Or it might mean that simply doing your best today is all that’s required for a good tomorrow.
To quote Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
